No One Likes a Doody Phone

So I had to run out a buy a new phone last night because my other one died a terrible death that I wouldn't wish upon any man, or cell phone....

I plan on telling people it fell into the sink while I was shaving, but I won't bullshit you... it fell into the toilet. Now, at the time there was nothing in the toilet, besides my phone, but it's still the toilet. There's no two was about it that's gross. There's no way to sugar coat this, I didn't exactly dive after my phone like a lifeguard on Baywatch. My moments hesitation wasn't due to the fact that I was in awe of the situation , I have a strict no toilet-water to JimmyGlenn contact policy.

In fact, I can honestly only think of one other time when I reached my arm into a toilet, the very same toilet actually...

Egon Spengler had fallen in as I was readying a bath for him, his fellow Ghostbusters, and I. I tended to play with Ghostbusters in the bath because shampoo doubled as slime, and I couldn't really dump shampoo on action figures anywhere else in the house. In any event, poor Egon drifted DEEP, like Houdini poop deep, and was endanger of being lost at sea forever. I immediately mounted a search and rescue, at the time toilet water didn't skeeve me as much. My slim seven-year-old hand shivered as the cold toilet water enveloped my arm up to the elbow (yeah THATS how deep Egon went). Egon's cold activated "slime" revealing paint turned bright pink. Conditions were terrible, but we never gave up hope. It was that determination that kept Egon and I going when things really looked bad. We got Egon out alive. The only trauma he suffered was the emotional trauma anyone would endure when completely immersed in toilet water. We were lucky that day, real lucky.

Luckily Egon made it out..

Sadly... my phone wasn't so lucky.

Since it happened I replayed the incident over in my head at least... once. Was it my hesitation that killed my phone, was it already too far gone to be saved? It's a Spider-man/Gwen Stacy situation. I'll never know for sure, but I am sure it will haunt me until the grave.


Anyway, luckily Verizon was open until 9:30, and luckily my grandma was up for an upgrade (sorry grandma). I assumed a new phone would only serve to confuse her, and being that she only turns her cell phone on when she is making a call, and that she uses only 10-15 minutes a month, I decided that she wouldn't mind if I used the upgrade given my "Doody-Phone" situation.

Long story short, I got the Blackberry Storm. I have heard good and bad things about it. We'll see if I like it. So far I do. Anyway, if anyone asks it fell in the sink while I was shaving. Lets keep that rumor going.

Don't fuck with Toilets...

Sometimes they Fuck back.

-JG out.