Nock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels

I can catch arrows.

Let me clarify, I woke up this morning, not thinking, KNOWING I could catch an arrow. Yes, like a bow-and-arrow, arrow. This revelation came to me thru a form of pseudo-omniscience that I cannot yet explain. All I can say is it is less clairvoyance, and more sudden awareness of knowledge (perhaps from a past life as a ninja?).

I know what you are thinking, “ Sure JimmyGlenn, I am sure you can catch an arrow, just like you could kill a lion.” ( I can).

If you aren’t familiar with that story, at some point I boldly, yet confidently, stated that I could kill a lion if it was in my own home. My reasoning is I would have home field advantage. I have lived in my house my whole life, and the lion would not know the ins and outs of my house like I would. Furthermore, I have MANY antique tools at my disposal. I don’t want to rehash old discussions but I still stand by that statement.

In any event, I admit I was as surprised as you are right now. Waking up to such a revelation is startling, but in all seriousness, LITERALLY when I opened my eyes this morning the first thought that ran through my mind was, “If an arrow was fired at me, I could catch it.” I don’t know how my brain works, or why it revealed this knowledge that, as far as I can tell, was already there now. But it did.

I have no Archery experience, nor did I have any dreams involving archery (that I can remember at least). This is VERY LITERALLY, what I woke up thinking about. There is NO other factor that affects my belief. I just HONESTLY, believe this fact to be true.

I have joked that I was a ninja, often quoting the line from Sifl and Olly, “YOU FORGOT I WAS A NINJA MOTHERFUCKER!”

But this is NO JOKE! I can catch an arrow that’s shot at me. I know it. There is not a doubt it my mind. Here is why:

• I am nimble.
• I have good reflexes.
• I have good hand-eye coordination.
• I can do upwards of 10 push-ups.
• I have moderate concentration skills.
  
• I am one part of the Tag-Team Champions of Everything.
• I woke up feeling certain.
  

I am sure of it... and don't you dare tell me that I can't.

-Beginner's Ruck!

P.S. If tomorrow an arrow is shot at me I may reassess the clairvoyance issue.

P.P.S. If anyone would like to test my inherrent nimble skills, comment a time and a place. I'd honestly like to try it (unless your name is Greg Jackson because you kill dear with your bow any those skills are way too severe).