Saturday Mourning: ShamWtf?!?!

ShamWow pitchman Vince Shlomi was arrested on felony battery charges in Miami last month following a violent encounter with a hooker -According to the Huffington Post and TMZ

"Shlomi told cops he paid [Sasha] Harris about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue. The affidavit...notes that during the 4 AM fight Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face.... After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the [hotel] lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse."

Well shit there goes my economic stimulus plan! Sure there's alotta sex on the down-low in D.C., but despite all their differences, beating hookers is probably an issue Democrats and Republicans can come together on.

Quickly, I'd like to address one detail in that story that puzzled me. He paid her $1000 dollars. police recovered $930 dollars from her. Is this excluding his money? If not, where did that other $70 go? Did she buy something before they banged? Was that missing $70 the hotel room fees? If so where the fuck are they staying? Does Vince go HoJo?

SO many questions. So few answers.

But really, the burning question on my mind is why? Why Vince? Why throw away everything you have accomplished for a hooker? Certainly a classy product like ShamWow won't want to be burdened by this kind of bad press. I'm sure they will issue statement soon.



-Slap your problems away.