Has anyone else noticed the huge influx of pirating? Do we think this is in response to hard economic times? Or to how cool Johnny Depp looked in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies? I mean clearly something has spurned this Pirating revival. No sooner then a DAY after snipers killed 3 Pirates, there are re
ports of Pirates hijacking an Greek ship off the coast of Somalia.In any event, clearly we need to start a government sponsored ninja prog
ram(the japanese love us they will totally get on board). Clearly, the only recourse is to send the ying to the pirates yang, the shredder to their ninja turtles, the dinosaurs to their Turok... the Mr. Bellding to their Zack Morse?I have discussed both Pirates, and Ninjas here. But I am now going to formally state that I am on Team Ninja. Pirates have nothing on Ninjas.
Here are the facts...
Pirates:
- are diseased (Scurvy, Siphilis, Gout, Crabs, etc.)
- are drunks
- are almost always missing either a limb, or an eye, if not both.
- have no formal training, they are just douche-bags on a boat.
- are only dangerous on open waters
Ninjas:
- are highly trained
- are stealthy
- are adept to battle on land and sea
- are highly focused
- can use a variety of weapons and tactics
- almost always have all of their limbs, (They will however not hesitate to cut your fucking head off)
The fact of the matter is, Ninjas are clearly superior in everyway. There is no debate in my mind. Unless you're a 13-year-old girl, and have seen Pirates of the Carribean almost as many times as you've seen Twilight, you know that I am speaking the truth.Ninjas > PiratesLook which way the Crocodile is going... this ain't no Peter Pan, in Mathematical terms the Crocodile eats the Ninja!
-Ninja VANISH!!!
P.S. you want to know why Ninjas are never in the news? Cause Ninjas never get caught.
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Fact: Ninjas are trained to avoid combat, and be stealthy, this is great if they catch the pirates on land but....
ReplyDeleteIf they pirates are out at sea (most of the time) the ninjas lose much of the stealth advantage.
Ninjas should be reserved for land based stealth missions, to really take it to the pirates you should employ Vikings. They're like pirates bigger more badass brothers/murderers.
Pirates have guns. You cannot dodge bullets. Pirates win. You know why there aren't any Samurai or Ninjas anymore? Cause they stopped using swords once they could use guns or got shot up if they didn't.
ReplyDeleteNinjas are more skilled in everyway. But that's the thing about the gun, anybody can shoot it. It's the ultimate equalizer.
Plus, all of that stealth hiding on a house or behind one doesn't mean shit when you have ships off the coast blowing away the whole house they are hiding behind.
Ninjas have Ninja magic, and we all know ninjas can block bullets with their swords...
ReplyDeletehuh idiots.
Haha
ReplyDeleteare diseased (Scurvy, Siphilis, Gout, Crabs, etc.)
ReplyDeleteare drunks
are almost always missing either a limb, or an eye, if not both.
have no formal training, they are just douche-bags on a boat.
are only dangerous on open waters (really? come on. that's just stupid)
how is any of this bad? pirates win.
LOL they so don't!!! Thier too busy giving STD's to brothel broads.... besides ninjas just sneak up behind them and kill their asses.
ReplyDeleteninjas are fucking awsome and will kill anyone
ReplyDeleteninjas are the ultimate warrior have you ever wathced naruto its obvious
ReplyDeleteFAIL Domikaze! 1. Pirate would never even get a clear shot at a ninja and 2. ninjas can easily chop the bullets out of the air... WITH THEIR HANDS! and by the time the pirates have even thought about blowing up the house, the ninjas have already got onto the ship...
ReplyDeleteVikings win, fuck pirates fuck ninjas we have rage we don't stop we don't sleep we are undying. you can stab us shoot us poison us. use a gun we will rip it in half WITH OUR TEETH. have a sword? not after i cleave in half. the quickest way to get to your enemy is to cleave through the man next to him.
ReplyDeleteNinja will just stowaway on your Viking ship and wait for you to get off and leave you all on island, marooned.
ReplyDelete