Retro Relics: Furby

The topic of Tamagotchi's and Pokemon got me thinking about another Digi-Pet that everyone seemed to have at some point in time or another.

FURBY

I had a Furby. I didn't want one, so the poor bastard was really doomed from the start. Grandma bought him on QVC for my birthday I believe. I remember trying to figure out the intricacies of his speech pattern for about thirty seconds, then I quickly got annoyed with his inane babbling and threw him in my closet. Where he very literally sat for years. But that's really par for the course in the history of my Digi-Pets (My Tamagotchi shit everywhere, never evolved and often, I assume, was forced to eat his own digi-doo for sustenance).

The point of Furby, was to teach him English. He was packaged speaking Furbish which may have been Portuguese, Gallic, Dutch, or maybe even Klingon for all I know. Over time, the more you interacted with Furby, the more it would learn real words, and sentences I suppose. To what end I will never know (I never gave poor Furby that chance). I doubt he was capable of complex reasoning or conversation. To me, it seemed like a lot of wasted effort to talk to some piece of shit robot that will only learn how to say 3 to 5 simple sentences.

Furby was a short lived fad, at least from my perspective. I suppose some people might have really devoted time and energy into educating him. From the standpoint of a kid with a short attention span, investing that kind of time seemed to have no major benefits. Furthermore, I remember being very put off off by its stunning resemblance to Gizmo from Gremlins.

Furby followed the same meteoric rise to fame as the Cabbage Patch Doll, the Tickle Me Elmo and the Tamagotchi, but ultimately he was a one trick pony that faded like his forefathers.

I don't think Furby would survive in toy stores too long these days... people would probably claim that he praised Hitler, spoke in Nega-Wiccan, and supported terrorism.

- their silly chang-chang-chong talk!We can't understand you! Go back to yer country! White power!